Papal Visit Ambulance Strike Team 2015

And so, we find ourselves in another detention. I face the frustration that many of the students probably feel right now: Why do I find myself here, every week? What is wrong with me?

It seems that I love my job and my kids, and will sit through detention every Tuesday afternoon, so they build the habits necessary to be successful.

First, though, I enjoyed my weekend thoroughly. I had a lovely homemade pizza date night on Friday, with a little too much wine. Saturday morning was an 11-mile run that hurt a lot more than it should, probably as a result of the pizza and wine. Afterwards, my sore hip was SORE, but felt almost entirely better by school on Monday.

Sunday, though, was my big day. I know I have strange hobbies. One of my favorite activities is providing emergency medical support to major events, and this weekend was one of the biggest gatherings that Philadelphia has ever seen. So big, in fact, that they asked New Jersey for help. Pick me! Pick me!

So, I put on my utility belt and drove down to my ambulance company's headquarters in South Jersey, where I grabbed a partner and an ambulance and headed to a New Jersey shopping mall that was labelled with huge "Staging Area" signs. We met up with about 10 other ambulances, where we signed into the "Papal Visit Ambulance Strike Team NJ 2015" or somesuch and got our snazzy credentials.

We then headed to Philly in an ambulance motorcade, across bridges that were otherwise closed to traffic (and I got my favorite picture of the day), where we got a briefing from their end, got some new radios and a stack of Philadelphia Fire Department paperwork.

Then, we got back on the bridge, and headed to Camden, where we hung out with all sorts of other emergency folks (NJ State Police, Army Reserve, bomb squad, urban search and rescue) in case of any major disaster. There were no major disasters.

Around 3PM, as the Pope was gearing up for Mass, we were taken back into Philadelphia to join another 30-40 ambulance crews, all lined up along the streets near the Pope. We got some snazzy bags of supplies (which included about 8 tourniquets each - what did they think was going to happen?), an oxygen tank, a wheelchair, and a location. At this point, we were close enough to the Pope that we could see the stage where he was standing, but I wasn't interested in pushing through crowds just to say I saw him (really, I was only there for the adventure of EMS logistics). We wheeled on down, about a half mile away, where crowds were still packed solid.

We checked in at the First Aid tent, and were sent to wait just past the entrance security. There were thousands of people packed into barriers, so they could be screened by TSA and metal detectors before coming in close proximity to the Pope. 

We waited there for several hours, occasionally wheeling a sweaty, dizzy, nauseous, syncopal person we pulled out of the crowds. We hung out with some Army Reserve and Secret Service folks. We had a blast.

The people were...fascinating. Some folks were shouting at us because they had to wait in line all day. They yelled louder when it became evident that Mass was over, and they would not receive Communion at that time. It seemed like another of the security gates had been closed because too many people were packed into the area, and they sent everyone else away to stand in more lines. So, the obvious solution would be to yell at the guys in the neon yellow EMS shirts, right?

And then there were those trying to calm the others down, or were leading the crowd in religious songs, or helping others escape the crowds when they decided they couldn't wait any more. There were some really great people there.

By about 8:30 PM, were were called back to the First Aid Station, and then the staging area, and then back to our ambulances to sit and wait to demobilize. We handed in our radios, ate some turkey sandwiches, and were each handed a Papal Visit Ambulance Strike Team 2015 token before being led across empty bridges and sent home for the night.

I had a blast.

Unfortunately, though, it was too cloudy when I arrived home to see the blood moon, which was frustrating, because everyone (students and grown ups) asked in school on Monday if I had seen it.

I put my EMT hat away and put back on my teacher hat for the week. The week is going well in my classroom, although students elsewhere in the school have made less-than-stellar decisions, so I've been helping out with that.

Sure, maybe my day job isn't quite as thrilling, and involves fewer flashing lights and blaring sirens, but I know I'm changing the lives of these students who are sitting in detention right now, contorted into all possible forms of slouch, scribbling onto a page for the 9th consecutive hour. They'll get there one day.

Yom Kippur

Today I had a very satisfying teacher moment. I called on a student, and one of the students was not tracking the speaker. I had just taken a big gulp from my oversized mug, but raised my eyebrows at the not-tracking student, who then looked at the speaker. I managed my classroom ONLY WITH MY EYEBROWS. Definitely could not have done that 4 years ago.

This week, I had an opportunity to exercise my right as an American to not give my business to a company that I don't like. I have had a frustrating time over the past week with my renter's insurance company and their awful customer service, so I cancelled my policy and opened one with another company. It only cost me about 90 minutes total, and I felt quite proud. When asked why I cancelled, I wrote only "Appalling customer service." Don't buy insurance from Assurance.

In other news, GEICO customer service is pretty great. Give them business.

I managed to get over my cold just in time for Yom Kippur, which derailed my workouts for the week, but gave me a nice day of relaxing and atoning. As with every Yom Kippur, I spend the morning wondering if fasting is really meaningful, or if I am just taking part in a weird archaic ritual. But then, as the afternoon wears on, the hunger makes me...actually feel repentant. I came up with some New Years' Resolutions in that time, while also fantasizing about every meal I've ever enjoyed. Here is my New Years' Resolution: When I make a mistake, admit it. Fix it for next time. Don't justify or defend myself, and don't feel guilty.

I had a couple of opportunities to implement this on Thursday at school, one with a student and one with a parent, and they worked out well. I think this will help my relationship-building go more smoothly.

This week's workouts have been weak, but I have plans to do my long run tomorrow (11 miles, 3 of them fast). Next week, I'm back to 100% workouts. Really.

Cold

Today is one of those days when I have a cold, and it's not bad enough to take a sick day, but it is pretty annoying. I feel kind of drained. Yesterday's super detention was overall pretty easy on me, since I was sitting for most of the day, but it was also exhausting and left me with a lingering nonspecific sense of frustration.

I also had an extra class to cover today. Due to weird field trip scheduling (there are too many 5th graders to take all of them to Project USE on the same day, so the trip is split up between two days, meaning some 5th grade teachers are on the trip, even though there are some 5th graders around to teach), I was scheduled to teacher 5th grade science this morning. The class actually went extremely well, and I was happy with the students' focus and performance on their exit ticket (spinal cord and sensory/motor nerves, pretty awesome for 5th graders).

Teaching 5th grade is good practice for my behavior management techniques, because the 5th graders respond very well to the paycheck system. As long as I was consistent about taking and adding dollars as necessary, the students made sure to stay focused and do their work. I actually had a blast, and we got to have a class discussion about how oxtail demonstrates the shape of vertebrae, so they can see at dinner how the spinal cord is protected. I had fun, and teaching the human body is awesome. (Can't wait for sex ed in January!)

My own classes went well, although B came in a little cranky, but was able to recover the last 20 minutes of class.

Now I have regular detention. It's definitely less tedious that super detention yesterday, but I still have that feeling of walking on eggshells - one wrong move, and the next fifty minutes will be a painful and frustrating battle to stay sane and emotionally constant. But, it's good now. And I'm feeling a little better this afternoon, after a solid lunch. Maybe I will get a run in this afternoon. I'll feel good atoning all day tomorrow if I get a good run in today.

Detention 2.0

Today, I have a special privilege - I get to stay back from the field trip with students who have not earned the privilege of going! That was sarcastic. It's the worst. It's basically like detention, but for the entire school day. 8 hours' worth.

I worked hard to set up a serious, focused room to start the day. Each student is given a packet of stayback work, which includes 1-2 hours of work for each of their academic classes. Before we did that, though, I set the mood with a behavior reflection, so students could take a moment to think about why they were not going on the field trip (paycheck average below threshold), and what they could do to change that for next time. Fortunately, this created a somewhat more positive atmosphere, so it felt less like detention, and the students were more likely to be invested in the task of finishing these assignments (and of course, earning dollars as they worked).

The morning worked really well, despite some fidgets in the last half hour before lunch.

The afternoon, however, was a whole other beast. I've only been up here for 30 minutes, but I've already given a consequence to most students in the room. They're just...silly. I've finally, through a combination of correcting and cajoling, gotten them all back to work, but I don't know how long it will last. Students are beginning to get close to finishing up their packets. 90 minutes left; let's see how it goes.

This weekend was a race weekend, so I got a glorious rest day on Saturday (well, I still worked the whole day in my EMT work, but that was fun, relaxing, and not too difficult) and a short but hard run on Sunday. I raced a 5K, which is my most and least favorite distance to race. It's my favorite because it's pretty short, so it doesn't leave me as worn down as a normal long run would. It's my least favorite because it's HARD. While not as hard as a mile race, it's pushing myself just past comfortable, and holding it for nearly a half hour. Actually, for nearly 28 minutes, which is my new PR (personal record).

Here is my race report:

Training: I've been doing a lot more consistent training in the last 6 weeks, since working with my coach. I've been running between 15 and 20 miles per week for the last 6 weeks, with the exception of last week, which was too busy. I've had a long run each weekend, with the last few Sundays at 9, 10, and 11 miles, which is definitely pushing my limits. I've also pushed to have fast segments during these long runs, such as 2x2 miles fast at anywhere during the 11 mile run. I've been doing an addition 4-5 hours of biking and swimming as well, with most of that as indoor biking.

Goal: My previous 5K PR is 28:49, and that was nearly two years ago, so I really wanted to beat that. I thought I could break 28 minutes, which is just under a 9-minute mile pace. My mile race last week indicated that I could do even faster, but I wasn't feeling great (head cold, sore hip) and had been on my feet the previous day.

Pre-Race: I was originally signed up for a race next weekend, but was asked to work on an ambulance strike team for the Papal Visit in Philadelphia, so I couldn't pass that up. I found a local race for Sunday (Berkeley Heights 5K), and drove about 25 minutes to get there. The Google Maps link on the race's website actually took me to the wrong place, but I was able to follow the written directions to find the race start, which had ample parking. I registered, handed over my crumpled $25, and dropped the race packet back in the car. I am sort of in between iPhone holding devices in my running - my SPIbelt, which I've loved for over a year, has gotten a little stretched out and bounces incessantly sometimes. I wasn't willing to take that risk, and didn't have an armband that would fit my phone, so I went without music. The weather was perfect - 68 degrees and partly cloudy.

Warm-up: I warmed up by slowly jogging about a third of a mile, and then stretching out my tight hip flexor a little bit. I lined up next to some guys that looked a little faster than me, but behind a few young girls who looked like they were about to take off sprinting and then walk the rest of the way (they did).

The race: The first mile was a struggle to find the right pace. I think I worried too much about it - I started out a little too fast, and then slowed down, and then saw my pace was too slow and sped up. I bounced back and forth until I settled into a solid 9:00-mile pace. The second mile was almost entirely uphill, and I struggled to keep my pace down. I averaged about 9:16 per mile here, which brought my average pace for the entire race at exactly 9:00, so I couldn't slow down for the last mile, even though I wanted to. I sped up for the last mile, focusing on my breathing and on counting my strides. My legs were feeling good, with none of the calf soreness that I had felt in some previous 5K races. My breathing was the only limiting factor, which meant my legs were keeping up with my overall fitness, which was good. I tried to keep up with a girl I had been running near, but she took off in the last mile. I struggle to keep behind her, but ended up passing several people along the way. In the last quarter mile, I sped up, and pushed through the finish line that was just past the final turn. I finished, wheezing and out of breath, feeling like I could have done a little faster overall, but I could not have pushed harder at the end. When I crossed the finish line, I saw 27:59 on the official clock, and stopped my Garmin at 27:58 (I must have started a little late). Unfortunately, the official results haven't been posted, so I don't know if I was sub-28 or not!

What's next: My next race is a half marathon in late October. I think I'll wait until early December for my next attempt at a 5K, which is a race that I've done for the last few years and is a really fun one. For this one, I think I can at least beat my PR, if not by 30 seconds or more.

I'm going to end on a good note, because I still have 35 minutes with these students, and the day is long.  I've worked hard to build relationships with these students, and today is the day when that pays off. I am only sane at this moment, after 7 hours almost-consecutively with the 20 students in the 7th grade who have not met behavioral expectations this year, because I've cashed in on my relationship building points today. Although there has been some silliness, and some talking, and lots of little noises, they've gotten a lot of work done and they've done mostly what they were supposed to be doing. And as I want to pull my hair out, I've learned to love each of these individuals a little more. And tomorrow, I will start banking relationship points again, for the next time.

Edit: I just checked the official results (like I've been doing every hour today), and they're finally up - 27:57, and second in my age group!

Broken Eggs

Today, I made a student cry. And, it was the sweetest, most wonderful student I have. And I don't regret it.

Student's were warned that there were breakable, spillable materials on the desks for today's lab, and that if anything was knocked off the desk, students would be taken out of the lab. So, student R, who has often stayed after class to ask questions about unrelated science, and who does experiments on the weekends for fun, knocked an egg off the desk. I sent her to the back of the room with a textbook, where she sat for the whole class instead of doing the experiment. She got a 0 for participation today. She cried.

I hope she remembers this when we are working with glass and boiling water later in the year, or when she is doing something infinitely more exciting and dangerous later in life (she wants to be a marine zoologist, so maybe riding in a fancy underwater exploration vehicle like Alvin). I also make sure to call her mom, who will help her do the lab on her own after school today.

The rest of the week was good moments, though:

Yesterday, a recently-disciplined student waved me over to ask: "Miss, do you have eyes on the back of your head."

I am the greatest.

I also managed a perfect lunch detention today; no dollars were lost. There was no talking, no noises, and a room full of kids with nothing to do, reading quietly. Victory!

My workouts this week have been...completely nonexistent. After a great weekend, Monday was full of family obligations, Tuesday included a 3/4-mile run, but that's all I had time for, and Wednesday was Back to School Night until way too late (and moveover, three parents commented that I looked tired). So, it's Thursday, and I've done nothing this week. Fortunately, Thursday is my leave-early day (implemented last October to counteract teacher complaints that the work is unsustainable - while not a solution, it definitely helps morale to know that I have an afternoon available for making doctor's appointments or going to the post office). I plan on getting at least two workouts in today.

Trouble Day

I didn't have a lot to write about last week, because everything went well. It was incredibly smooth, and I had the best student management Friday I've ever had.

This weekend was also good. I had a nice 11-miler on Saturday (it was finally below 80 for a long run!), and on Sunday, I beat my mile PR by over a minute! I ran a 1-mile race in 7:37! And...it sucked. Every one of those seconds was painful. The weather was perfect - about 68 during the race - but about 10 minutes after I finished, I sweated profusely onto the pavement in Manhattan. And after those awful 7-and-a-half minutes...I felt awesome. And proud.

And then I immediately tried to bike 20 miles. I made it 17.5, slowly. My quads were sore, and my hip achy. But all in all, I'm incredibly proud of my fitness accomplishments this weekend. I think I'm in the best shape ever, and my coach is really helping improve that.

I can't wait to see what happens in my next races, a 5K in two weeks and a half marathon in the end of October. My new mile time makes me hopeful I can break 28 in the 5K, and even (maybe?) 2:20 in the half.

But then today, my day at work was challenging. I was extremely tired - after two nights of family obligations, including last night's cathartic casting away of sins into the Hudson River, and two nights of not great sleep, I was a little bit cranky. The kids were fine, but not great (I think they are craziest on Tuesdays). The lesson was great. I'm still loving teaching new lessons, and today we got to read the story about Archimedes running naked through the streets shouting "Eureka". And then, right in the middle of my second class, right around "Eureka", I knocked my brand new computer onto the floor.

We get a new work computer every three years. The computers are not the greatest, not the most expensive, and not the shiniest, but they do the job. Last year, in the third year of my Lenovo's lifespan, I struggled. I crashed Windows through an abundance of open Word documents and Chrome tabs about once per week, and spend a lot of my day waiting for the computer to boot up in the morning and for Office to save documents to the server. When I received my new computer in the last week of school, I was thrilled. It was amazing and fast and everything I had spent all year wanting.

Until today, when I dropped it. The class gasped, and I laughed it off. And then I picked up the computer, dusted it off--and it still worked! It was a little slow to respond, but that's probably trackpad issues.

And then it got slower, and slower, until Word crashed. So I rebooted. And that was the last it ever saw. I rebooted. And rebooted. And it never reloaded Windows. And I called tech support. And I ate some Easy Mac. And I did some work on a desktop next to a student in Computers class.

And now I have a new computer. A new new computer. It's actually a little less nice than the old new computer, but it'll do. And I'm back to work, with only a couple of hours lost, so not too bad, all in all.

But, I was sleepy and cranky and the kids were extra middle-schooly today, and I'm proud that I didn't cry when my computer didn't boot up. At least I get to run today!

The Story of B

Things are rolling quite smoothly. And, I'm in detention when i say that (okay, it's only 3:51, and there's plenty of time for everything to come crashing down, but I think we're going to be good).

So, let's talk about my buddy, B. He's part of the category of students we call Kids We Love Most, or KWLM's, or K-Dubs. I do, truly, love him the most. I've probably spent more time talking to him, talking to his mom, talking to my principal or colleagues about him, crying in the staff room, and worrying at night, than any other student I've ever had.

B started last year barely getting by, and then had some behavioral struggles. He struggles with processing directions, which is probably the biggest challenge a North Star student could have, because we are constantly telling students how to sit, where to look, and what to do (and expecting immediate compliance). A few behavioral challenges turned into a lot of time spent in the dean's office, and "barely getting by" turned into failing classes.

There were a lot of conferences with mom, who took a while to trust that we really were looking out for her son's best interest, and not just picking on him (because sometimes, when a situation escalates from a student slouching at his desk to a dean send out, it's tough to understand why). I once spent an entire night (like, lying in bed) rehearsing for a meeting the next day with his mom.

I actually lost a lot of sleep over this one, and shed a lot of tears, because I was watching this student struggle behaviorally and academically every day, and have so few opportunities to be successful. It also didn't help that when he got angry, he could be VERY disrespectful, and derail an entire class. I made some mistakes last year, including losing my temper sometimes and not always saying the kindest, most helpful things. I trusted my principal's advice to keep it consistent, even if it is frustrating, because a system of clear expectations and consequences is what has helped students here be successful for so long.

For a while, it was quite frustrating. I sent him out of my class almost every time I saw him. A send out means that he got one to three reminders (like a tap on the desk, or quiet reminder) for posture or focus or tracking, then lost a dollar, then three, then took a moment in the hallway to collect himself, and was then given a chance to write a reflection in the back of the room, which he refused every time. And that was only if I saw him; he was often already in the dean's office by 10:00 AM. When I tried to debrief with him, as I try to make it a habit to do after every student behavioral problem of significance, he wouldn't even make eye contact with me. Every question was answered with a shrug, if it all.

And then one day...it worked. He came into class and did what he was supposed to, without even needing reminders. I like to think it was a combination of familiarity with the consequences, and one very long and exhausting meeting with him, his mom, the principal, and me, when he was forced to make eye contact while I explained that I cared about him, and about his success, and about his chances of playing football at Michigan one day. And then he stayed in my class (almost) every single day for the rest of that year. The biggest problems I had from him were calling out answers...because he was so excited. We chatted after class sometimes (he claims the Patriots are the best and the "Jets are like dookie", which I thing means he was comparing my football team to fecal matter). Sometimes I gave him pep talks that helped him get his act together in other classes.

Unfortunately, it was April, and B needed to cover a lot of ground. He ended up being retained, and I was excited to start a fresh year with him. And he started great in my class. The few slip-ups we had were quickly reflected on and repaired. But it was not as smooth in his other classes. He struggled a lot in the first two weeks, and spent a lot of time in the dean's office. I met with a few other teachers to help come up with a plan that would help him be more successful in his other classes, and that is a work in progress. He came in this week a little more focused, and possible on a good track for the time being. I'm hopeful that he will be successful in football, or whatever he chooses to do. (He'll have to grow a few inches taller if that will become a reality.) I hope that the time we, as teachers, have spent loving him the most will pay off for him, which means it will have paid off for me.

Integrity

I DID IT. All 3 classes went well today, and I held everyone accountable for high expectations. It helped a little that my buddy B was on ISS, but I guess this is a step along the way to 100%.

Today's class was fun. We were practicing using graduated cylinders and triple-beam balances. I managed to create (loose) context for the activity by creating an investigation of which cookie brand has bigger cookies. It was basically an excuse to eat cookies, but we did discover (fairly surprisingly) that crunchy and chewy chocolate chip cookies have about the same mass, even though chewy cookies are much more dense (and therefore smaller).

I am also having a great time with the new curriculum this year. Not only is it different, it is also sequential, so that the curriculum I am teaching this year is a direct continuation of the curriculum I taught last year, even though it's different students. For example, over the weekend students had to write a lab report conclusion, which is a skill we had begun last year and added on to last week. Their conclusions did not look like start-of-7th-grade conclusions (at least as I had seen in the past). They looked like end-of-7th-grade conclusions (or start-of-8th-grade), because these students had done the 7th grade lab skills already. It was awesome, and I think I will enjoy continuing this journey with them.

Lunch detention, though. Lunch detention is going to be a challenge for me this year. It's just an opportunity for...holes. Students have so many opportunities to push boundaries in terms of off task behavior and noises. I hate noises. It's tough because they aren't supposed to be doing anything, and 7th graders get distracted really easily this way. I will have to enforce "look at your food or book only", which will be tough (i.e. a pain in the butt) to enforce at first, but I think it will pay off later. Once I have that expectation down, I can more easily correct students who are messing around but not doing anything specifically naughty. For example, if a student is not quite making funny faces, but is looking weird enough that other kids are laughing, I will get a crazy reaction if I took dollars (our consequence system uses fake money). However, if students know they can lose dollars for looking around in the first place, it would then be easier to take a dollar for "not tracking book/food". It's crazy North Star logic, but it has actually been proven to work.

Today, something really weird happened with lunch detention, in a way that could only happen here. The students...did lunch detention themselves. For like 10 minutes. The lunch detention teacher was late, and somehow they had gotten the message to go inside the room and start eating. They sat themselves evenly spread out and started eating, pretty quietly. When I walked by a few minutes later, they all shushed themselves into silence by the time I got inside the room. We found the right teacher, and the kids got a lecture on why they shouldn't be in a classroom without a teacher's permission, but it was cute. They do what they're supposed to, even when nobody's watching.