New Start

This place is very different from Bridgeport. It’s different than TFA, but not as much. In fact, it’s very similar to TFA , in theory. The mission and ideas are almost identical, but that’s where it ends. TFA is just the ideas, the theory. Uncommon Schools is about living up to the ideals and actually achieving results.

Ever since I graduated from high school, I have missed the idea of always being perfect, always scoring 100%. In college, there were some classes in which 60% earned an A. All of my tasks after college had no grades, and no possibility of perfection. My last teaching job had no expectations of me (or unclear, inconsistent ones). This year, they expect 100% of me. Not only do they expect it, they are making me think it’s possible.

I’ve learned that perfection won’t be possible alone. I have, and will need, support from my colleagues, coaches, and principal. In fact, I think I’ve received more helpful feedback from my principal in my first day of training than in all of last year.

(BPS Rant: We had a different sort of atmosphere in Bridgeport. Teachers aspired to be better than their colleagues, usually by enjoying others’ failures and difficulties. That is, there was a joyful gossip about fights or yelling in others’ classrooms.

 I was also discouraged from asking for help. One time, I asked the principal to come to my classroom because I was having difficulty with a couple of girls in my classroom. Two girls, who were either best friends or worst enemies depending on the day of the week, and had a history of physical fighting, were arguing. I didn’t want the situation to escalate beyond my control, so I asked for help. The principal walked into the classroom and yelled…at me. She announced to the class that the kids were not responsible for their behavior, I was. Their misbehavior was my fault due to where they were sitting. She then came to the same class the following day and publicly criticized the effectiveness of my lesson plans.

These things may have been true. The kids are my responsibility, and that is why I sought help. She undermined my authority, and the students were difficult to regain authority of halfway through the year. And I never asked for help again.)

I love my new principal. She is friendly and I feel comfortable talking to her. I don’t feel like I’m wasting her time when I ask her a question. She gives me feedback and suggestions that are immediately applicable and helpful. I have already improved as a teacher, in the last two days, because of her.

I’ve done a lot of sitting and workshopping in the last two days. I’m doing better at sitting and paying attention than I have in the last few years. Other than today, when I’m so exhausted and have too much to write, I’ve been sitting respectfully, taking notes, participating in discussion, and fidgeting minimally with a binder clip.

There is a lot of role-playing teacher scenarios. At first, I was uncomfortable with the role-playing, both as a teacher and a student, but by the second day, I was all it. I volunteered for everything, and I even got to play the role of a lion in a moralistic skit (catch a lion by slowly and patiently luring it closer). Not only was it more fun than watching quietly,  but I learned so much more by getting up and practicing my teaching drills.

In other news, my grandmother is still Superwoman. She has exceeded all expectations in her steadfast survival. She has had no food or fluids for nearly six days. Five days ago, shoe started showing evidence of kidney failure, and four days ago liver failure. Breathing has been challenging for weeks. It’s unbelievable. I guess I come from strong stock. I’ll definitely need that this school year.